Ella Interviews the Presidential Hopefuls

Hey everyone! It’s me, Ella McWoof – and I’m on assignment! Today, I’m going to interview our three presidential hopefuls:

Salley Cat, Stoogles and Purr-Cilla.

Ella: Here’s the question that’s on everyone’s mind: what will you change if you become president?

Salley: I’m going to try and get a student lounge available for everyone (not just the people on the student council). I’m also going to put a limit on the amount of homework we can get each night, and make sure that we have clubs that are inclusive and interesting to everyone. I’m also going to make it standard that you can ask to be in the same class as your friends – and if you’re not, you can apply for a transfer.

Stoogles: I’m going to change the menu in the cafeteria. I mean honestly, have you ever eaten there? It’s gross. I know they’re trying to make us eat nothing but healthy stuff, but there has to be a way to make it taste better! I’d also put a moratorium on tests around the holidays – how can you enjoy the holidays if you’re studying? Oh! And I’d give us five minutes to get from class to class, instead of three. Three just isn’t enough!

Purr-Cilla: Wow, those are lame answers. OK, so here’s what a GOOD president does. Listen up. First, I would start a pep team – to really increase school spirit. Next, I’d only allow teachers to give us homework on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. There would NEVER be weekend homework. I’d also insist that they upgraded our school bus. Who wants to ride in a bus when you could ride in a fancy bus? I’m talking soda, a disco ball, televisions, a bathroom on board – everything!

Ella: Uh, but the bus ride is…maybe ten minutes from anyone’s house.

Purr-Cilla: Don’t interrupt. I’m not done. I’d also give everyone TEN minutes between classes. I’d shorten the school day by an hour, and make it start an hour later.

Salley: Doesn’t that mean you’d shorten it by two hours?

Purr-Cilla: STOP INTERRUPTING ME! I’M NOT DONE YET! I’d hire famous actors and directors to improve our drama program. I’d also insist that assemblies are interesting. Like, maybe we’d hire Dacey Bryn to come in and perform.

Stoogles: Can you do all that? I mean, wouldn’t Ms. Cowoline have something to say about those ideas?

Purr-Cilla: Whatever. I don’t care what that old cow thinks.

Ella: Well, this has been very…enlightening. May the best ‘Kinz win!

Purr-Cilla: That would be me.