Purr-Cilla for President!

Hello fellow students, it’s I – your next school president…Purr-Cilla!

Now, I’m sure you’ve all seen my posters and that you’re familiar with my platform. In case you missed it (or have been living under a large rock), here’s what I stand for:

First, let’s get our spirit up. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I definitely have: no one here has much school pride. And it’s starting to get on my nerves. Kinzville Academy is the BEST school in town – and we should be showing our school spirit. To do that, I’d create a pep squad – we’d have ‘Kinz ready to cheer, dance, sing – just basically bring the fun wherever they go. Our teams would win more, our students would be happier – I guarantee it!

Next, I’d limit homework – and I don’t just mean to holidays, like a certain Googles candidate. I mean NO homework ANYTIME on Thursday through Sunday. You’d have EVERY single weekend free- think of how much you’d like that, fellow students. No more worrying about coloring maps when you could be at the mall. No more fighting about whether you can go to a sleepover – why not? You won’t have any projects or homework to do!

I’d also upgrade our school bus. Have you noticed how old and gross it is? Like, really? It’s disgusting! I’d have the seats reupholstered; I’d install a disco ball and televisions. Not to mention a bathroom with makeup counters in it. And to make our rides even MORE fun, we’d get a sound system – we’d be rockin’ and rollin’ all the way to the KVA!

Now, you know Purr-Cilla has always got your back – and always wants you to look your best. That means more time between classes to get where we have to go. None of this two or three minute silliness – no! I guarantee TEN solid minutes between classes. You’ll never have to rush again.

Next,  I’d give you more time to yourselves – isn’t that what everyone wants? I mean, honestly! School just takes too long. So I’d shorten the day by an hour, and dismiss classes an hour early. SOME people have accused me of shortening the day by TWO hours, but I don’t really see how that works out. Anyway, I think you’ll enjoy being able to sleep in later and get home sooner. Right? Right!

Finally, I think we need some professional help – in the acting department, that is. No offense, Ms. Cowoline, but you’re not exactly a movie star. We need someone who can give us serious DIRECTION. Someone who KNOWS the theater. Someone who knows how to direct and act. I’d like to get Dacey Bryn to come in and teach us a thing or two.

So, my dear voters, I think the choice is pretty clear: it’s Purr-Cilla ALL the way! When you vote today, vote for a winner – Purr-Cilla.